Questions to Ask Your Mother When Considering Senior Care
According to the Pew Research Center, most U.S. adults live within an hour's drive of at least some of their extended family. If they need to help an aging parent with a task, they can get there without too much delay. However, even 45 minutes can be a long time to wait for someone to respond.
Discussing senior care with parents is important for making sure they're safe and healthy at all times. Kansas City's central location and growing senior care options make it easier for adult children to support their aging parents.
Here are some questions to ask your mother when considering senior care.
How Are You Feeling Physically and Emotionally?
Senior mental health is an important factor to consider in eldercare discussions. Loneliness and social isolation are key risk factors for mental health conditions, especially for older adults who live alone.
Ask your mother how she currently feels so you can better understand her current well-being. Physical health can decline subtly, and emotional health can suffer from loss and depression.
This question allows your mother to express any health concerns she might have without immediately diving into caregiving conversations.
Some follow-up topics include whether she has any chronic pain or new symptoms. Find out if she feels lonely or if she's satisfied with her current routine.
Are You Comfortable Managing Daily Tasks?
Assess how your mom is at home with daily activities like cooking and cleaning. Bathing and dressing are also areas that seniors may struggle with and can lead to poor hygiene.
If your mother struggles with specific chores or routines, she may need additional support. The same goes if she needs assistance with driving and getting to doctor's appointments.
What Are Your Thoughts On Getting Help At Home?
Before you jump into assisted living planning, explore the idea of home assistance. Many seniors are against leaving their homes or relying on strangers. Asking this question allows your mother to share her preferences without feeling like she's losing control.
Follow up by addressing how often she would want a caregiver to visit. Alternatively, she may want to hire someone to help with household tasks or errands.
Are You Open to Moving Into a Senior Living Community?
Some older adults have already given some thought to moving into a senior living community. Others may feel unprepared, even if they're open to the idea.
Gauge your mother's preferences and her knowledge of the options available. It often helps if you look for communities together. That way, you can calm her anxiety and schedule a tour to check it out in person.
What Are Your Biggest Concerns About Aging?
This question brings up fears and anxieties that may not have been expressed before. It sets the tone for a compassionate and honest caregiving conversation. You can focus on what matters most to her rather than what you think she might need.
For example, many seniors fear a loss of independence. However, most independent living communities make it easier for seniors to live their lives to the fullest by offering only housekeeping and similar amenities.
How Is Your Memory and Mental Clarity?
Mental health and cognitive abilities can determine how safely seniors can live alone at home. You can gently ask your mother to assess her own experience, which can lead to a more detailed discussion.
It's important for you to bring up any of your concerns in a gentle way that focuses on her well-being. Make sure to learn the differences between normal memory problems associated with aging and signs of dementia.
If your mother already has a dementia diagnosis, then it may be time to transition her into a community with memory care services. This should be done with her consent and cooperation.
Have You Completed Important Legal and Financial Planning?
A big part of aging parent support is understanding their legal and financial plans. It's not an easy topic to bring up, but it's essential.
Ask about documents like:
- Will
- A living will
- Power of attorney
- Healthcare proxy
- HIPAA form
- Long-term care insurance
Ideally, your mom will have someone close to her who can handle medical and financial decisions if she's unable to. There are a few different forms that can legally designate this person.
See if she has a long-term care policy in place. It'll come in handy if she requires more intensive care in her later years.
What Does An Ideal Day Look Like?
This question adds a personal touch to your eldercare discussions. It helps you better understand what brings your mother joy.
For example, a more private senior might like having a spacious home they can relax in. They may desire a private backyard where they can garden without any disruption.
If your mother is more social, they may be more inclined to move to a senior living community. It'll provide plenty of socialization options and match her lifestyle better.
You'll also want to ask about hobbies or routines she likes maintaining. They may not mesh well with certain communities.
How Do You Feel About Family Involvement?
Some seniors value their privacy and independence, while others expect and welcome involvement from their children. Clarify her expectations so you can set boundaries and prevent misunderstandings later.
You can start by outlining what things she wants help with. Your mother might be comfortable with her children tending to her yard or keeping the house clean.
However, she may prefer hiring a professional caregiver if she needs assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs). After all, your mom might not want her children helping her shower or dealing with other hygiene tasks.
Try These Questions to Ask Your Mother
The questions to ask your mother will depend on the woman herself, her care needs, and personal preferences. It's important to spend time on these conversations to make sure you're planning out her future to the best of your ability.
Addington Place of Shoal Creek provides assisted living and memory care services for seniors in the Kansas City area. Our residents have a wide choice of living options and can enjoy a pet-friendly environment. Contact us with any questions and to schedule a tour of our community.